Fresh from successfully predicting the World Series participants six months in advance, I’ve decided to put my newly discovered powers of prophecy to work on tomorrow’s election. Why? To calm your fears if you’re a Clinton voter, ease you into your impending disappointment if you’re a follower of Gauleiter Trump, and advance my own late-in-life change of career from aging scribbler to internationally celebrated soothsayer with my own prime time, hour-long show on Fox TV.
So, without further ado (as we say in show biz), here are your final results for president and senate two days in advance. (Yes, you may quote from them to astound your friends; all I ask is that you credit me as your personal prophet and guru.)
You're welcome,
Vaya con Lorenzo