Ready for a break from life-or-death matters? To ease your ongoing suffering in the Time of Trump, I bring you my second composition from the Caligula Suite, “Divertimento #2: Variations on The Madness of March.” Enjoy!
Anyone can play Bracketology. And watch the NCAA basketball tourney on the telly. Be assured it’s good clean fun, exciting to see the world’s best pure athletes compete in a game famed for its nonstop excitement.
You need not bet on the madness in one of those popular brackets you have heard about. Not mandatory. But for me, the absence of a monetary stake in the games has all the thrill of kissing a sibling. So I advise putting some fleeting spice in your life and plunge a fin or a sawbuck or next month’s mortgage payment into the nearest pool.
The odds of picking every winner in the pool are approximately 3.4 trillion to one, I’ve been told. Not an easy task, even for a seer like me. So I trust that if I miss a pick or few, you’ll cut me some slack.
Donations to your favorite gambling guru are not required but welcome. No, I’m sorry to say, such humane and worthy acts are not tax deductible. I do stand by my standard guarantee, however: if you do not profit from my predictive powers, I will provide you with the same service next year absolutely free! How fair is that?
May the peace of Pacifica be with you.
Going to Vegas? Remember to reserve your Brinks truck rental early.