Try the pop quiz below to see how you stack up against the man Vladimir Putin called a “genius”...or so Trump keeps trumpeting. A score of eight or more gives you the right to call yourself a “Genius,” proof that you have an IQ of 140* or more.
THE QUIZ
WHERE IS NAMBIA?
WHO BURNED DOWN THE U.S. WHITE HOUSE IN THE WAR OF 1812?
IN WHAT YEAR WAS IT BURNED DOWN? (Take your time on this one.)
HOW MANY TEXANS ENJOYED HURRICANE HARVEY FROM THE COMFORT OF THEIR OFFSHORE BOATS?
HOW MANY CORINTHIANS ARE THERE IN A BALLGAME?
WHERE DO YOU GET THE BEST TACO BOWLS?
WHO TWEETED “IT IS BETTER TO LIVE ONE DAY AS A LION THAN 100 YEARS AS A SHEEP?”
PRESIDENT TRUMP HAS REPEATEDLY SAID THAT PAUL MANAFORT WAS HIS CAMPAIGN MANAGER FOR “A VERY SHORT TIME.” WAS IT 49 DAYS AS HE CLAIMS OR WAS IT 144 DAYS AS THE FAKE NEWS REPORTS?
WHY IS TRUMP SO EAGER TO HOLD A SUMMIT MEETING WITH VLADIMIR PUTIN IN THE NEAR FUTURE?
PRESIDENT TRUMP ON HIS RETURN FROM SINGAPORE AND HIS MEETING WITH KIM JONG-UN SAID, “SO MANY PEOPLE ASKED WHEN I WAS ON THE CAMPAIGN [TRAIL]...WHEN YOU CAN, PRESIDENT TRUMP, WE’D LOVE OUR SONS TO BE BROUGHT BACK HOME—YOU KNOW, THE REMAINS.” HOW MANY PARENTS IS “MANY”? BEST GUESS WINS.
* You may wonder how Vlad the Impaler arrived at that number of 140, considering that Donald only measured out at a 68 on the Stanford-Binet test. Well, that was, of course, for the forebrain alone; Vlad helpfully added in the score of 72 for the cerebellum and the brain stem (the so-called “reptilian brain”) to get to the required 140.
THE ANSWERS
- You’re right if you said it was in Trump’s brain only. He was apparently trying to name either Namibia or Zambia in a speech but confused them and created a brand new African “shithole.”
Canada, as Trump recently told Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau to his face prior to the G-7 meeting. That there was no Canada in 1812 is a loose end still to be tied up. You might try England.
Fake history theorizes that it was probably 1812.
According to Trump at a recent FEMA meeting, 16,000 of those thoughtless, rubbernecking party people had to rescued by the Coast Guard. He praised members of the CG for their heroics; they modestly kept their silence, perhaps not aware of what they had done.
The answer is two. Addressing a student audience at conservative Liberty University, the renowned Bible Scholar Trump vowed to protect Christianity, then told the students that “two Corinthians 3:17, that’s the whole ballgame….is that the one you like?” The students snickered at his botch of Second Corinthians, the school’s favored dictum: “Now the Lord is that spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is Liberty.”
The Trump Tower Grill. The president said so.
The man who has lived 72 years as a weasel, Donald J. Trump, pilfered the words from Benito Mussolini because he likes to “be associated with interesting quotes.” Not to mention interesting Fascist dictators.
If you are Fox Watcher, it’s 49 days. If you follow the Fake News, it’s 144 days. Score accordingly.
Because he’s seeking political asylum with dear friend Vlad after Robert Mueller’s report is made public. Maybe he can share digs with Snowden.
As a Korean War vet I should know the answer to this. But I’m having trouble with the calculation.You see, my mother died in 1972 at age 65; my father passed away in 1983 at age 78. And I shipped out to the Far East in 1952 at age 19. Although I’m not too good at sums and take-aways, I think I’m looking for folks at least 116 years old to verify their campaign trail requests to have the remains of their fallen sons brought home. But what really intrigues me is how those aging centenarians knew in 2016 that Trump would be elected president. Mighty few of us did.