KNOW YOUR REPUBLICAN CONGRESSPERSON
YOUR CORRECT ANSWERS TO POP QUIZ #1
1. C, Mark Twain gave this unflattering description of our legislative body. He also wrote that “Fleas can be taught nearly everything a congressman can.”
2. B, a Staccato 9mm handgun. That’s the second time he was busted for the same offense. Do you think the wheelchair-bound freshman congressman was flying to one of those GOP coke-fueled sex orgies he was invited to…maybe to mete out punishment?
3. E, “None of the above” is your correct answer. Seems Marjorie meant martial law. She ain’t up to snuff with her spellin’ and such. But she’s pretty good at her sums and takeaways!
4. C, Yes, it had to be the weed. How else could you have something concrete (COVID-19) “mutate” into a political abstraction (communism) that preceded the disease in time by more than a half century? OK, so Lauren dropped out of high school…she plans to go back and take her GED. So there!
5. D, Scott’s paretic fantasy comes from too much dining in the bat cave. Poor guy! Yesterday he got his subpoena to appear before the January 6 Committee.
YOUR SCORE
Five right = A I bet you’ve been reading The New York Times.
Four right = B Dang! You thought it was Hemingway.
Three right = C You tied Marge. Playoff scheduled for next week.
Two right = D You’re in the running to take Madame Boebert to the Grand Junction Ball!
One right = F+ Suggest you give up watching Fox.
None right = F- Have you ever thought of running for Congress?